My snark today is from my upcoming book, Pavarus.
Wes’s finger’s had no mercy for the sides of the canoe he currently held in a death grip. It was either permanently imprint his identity to his current mode of transportation, or throw a fit.
He decided to go with both.
“What the hell am I doing in a friggin’ canoe going down a friggin’ river?”
“It’s called having fun, Wes.”
If he wasn’t worried about tipping the canoe over, Wes would have turned around and smacked Toni. The man knew Wes didn’t like to get wet; he knew Wes didn’t like the woods; and he knew Wes didn’t like camping.
Who wants to be out in the middle of the nowhere, sleeping on the hard ground, while wishing you had clear – pond scum free – water to wash your hair? Houses were made for a reason, were they not?
“You said we’d be staying in a cabin, Toni. You said I’d be sleeping on a nice comfy mattress, not a sleeping bag. You said the most I’d have to worry about would be to help collect fire wood, which I still don’t even like that.” Wes shot an annoyed glance over his shoulder at Toni. “I could get a splinter.”
“We will be on a mattress, an air mattress to be exact, which is more than the others get. And don’t worry your pretty little fingers about the firewood, I’ll get it.”
“What about the cabin?”
“Okay, so I lied about the cabin. But don’t worry so much, it’ll be fun.”
“Fun? You think being out here, where it’s dirty and there are bugs bigger than my hand, is fun? I don’t think so. And don’t think I didn’t catch that little bit about us sleeping on the air mattress. You think after pulling this crap on me we’re sleeping together? I think the sun’s starting to fry your brain.”
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